Inside the Booming Business of Fake Urine

Imagine commuting to a drug test with a jar of boiling-hot fake pee tucked into your bra—welcome to the world of synthetic urine, where science, survival and a dash of absurdity collide.

On a recent weekday in Chicago, “Adele” (not her real name) found herself clutching more than just her morning latte on the bus. Nestled against her chest was a jar of Quick Fix synthetic urine, heated by her body to scorching temperatures. When she arrived at the urinalysis clinic two days after smoking weed, the thermometer on the bottle’s side wouldn’t budge—her sample was too hot. “I had to pretend I was pee-shy until it cooled down to 98 °F,” she recalls, sweaty but triumphant, before passing the test.

Synthetic urine isn’t a gag gift—it’s a multi-million-dollar market catering to workers caught between mandatory drug screens (56 percent of employers require pre-employment tests) and shifting attitudes toward marijuana legality. Brands like Quick Fix, Clean Stream, UPass, Xstream and Monkey Whizz sell lab-calibrated formulas combining water, urea, creatinine and uric acid at the correct pH and density to fool gas chromatography–mass spectrometry screenings.

From Lab Accident to “Wet Sex” Accessory

The first synthetic urea was created by chemist Friedrich Wöhler in 1828—an accidental breakthrough that disproved vitalism. Today’s fake pee relies on that same compound, but with modern refinements. Quick Fix kits include a microwaveable heating pad to reach body temperature, while rivals offer prosthetic devices.

Some companies openly market their products for adult play rather than drug tests. Alternative Lifestyle Systems’ Whizzinator Touch, for example, comes with a prosthetic penis, heating pads and straps—and a cheeky disclaimer that it’s “for fetish use”. Its refill powders, however, remain top sellers, moving through smoke shops and head shops nationwide.

Legality in a Patchwork of States

Producing or using synthetic urine to subvert drug testing is illegal in 18 states, yet prosecutions are rare. Only South Carolina has ever convicted a seller—twice—and Illinois and Kentucky treat the sale as a felony. In most jurisdictions, it’s a misdemeanor, and companies sidestep liability by labeling their kits “not for drug tests.”

Star Power and Congressional Spotlight

The Whizzinator achieved infamy in 2005, when NFL running back Onterrio Smith was caught with one in his luggage. Although possession didn’t violate league rules, he failed his next test and was cut from the Vikings. Four days later, Congress held hearings on drug-test subversion, with the Whizzinator name coming up 20 times. “It isn’t very funny when the truck driver bearing down on you used fake urine,” Rep. Joe Barton warned.

Despite public scrutiny—and even a 2010 conviction of Whizzinator patent holder Gerald Wills—fake pee sales continue to climb. As more states embrace marijuana legalization but maintain workplace testing, demand for reliable urine simulants shows no sign of evaporating.

Original story via Vox.